Chapter 14: Yes, I’m Finally Shutting Up

We’ve reached the end of this tale.

Not MY tale, that’s still happening.

My first year on Twitter ends in September of 2009, and I’m writing this epilogue in January of 2010.  I suppose you might be wondering what other crap I’ve gotten myself into so far, which is now referred to as Year Two of My Life On Twitter.  Perhaps I should catch you up on the goings on of the people in my life.

@cartermason is now a rodeo clown in Colorado.  He’s been in and out of the hospital with his arms broken four times each, his legs three times in three different places, and his pelvis is now made of steel, but he gets all the rum he can drink as payment, so he’s happy.

@jamiefishback is now a senator in Wisconsin.  He just weathered a scandal based around his fondness for sheep, which is related to a bizarre pregnancy that even I can’t talk about here.

@ekfomo got rich inventing a combination vibrator/hand mixer, but lost it all when she was sued by an irate housewife who was injured.  She now lives on a small island in the South Pacific with a harem of tanned men who wait on her hand and foot.

@jillyleigh married a movie star whose name I can’t divulge here, and went on to live in Brentwood with him, birthing 6 children while running her own corporation that manufactures a special kind of programmable paper clip that talks to you and tells you what you’re clipping together.

@JonathanNail became the first man on Mars, which has always been his dream.  Unfortunately, the trip drove him mad and he disabled the navigation on the shuttle during his return trip.  He’s still orbiting Saturn.  Upside down.

@brianspaeth parlayed his movie career into a professional hockey contract, but he was tragically killed when a fan threw a copy of his book at him during a game, and it caused him to fall on the ice and break his neck.  That fan was @laurierecords.

As for @alliecine and I, we got rich manufacturing our own moonshine out of corn syrup and rubbing alcohol, so we moved to a farm in Kansas.  We’re pregnant with kid number eight; @betenich and @jfuzell live with us, and have a herd of cats.  FYI, a “herd” of cats is 244 of them.  They’re kind of hard to round up; we’ve found that the elephant we bought works really well at keeping them from getting out of hand.  I gave up composing music to raise cattle while Allie crotchets cloth napkins and sells them online.

What’s REALLY Been Happening

Seriously, things are (if you can believe it) even busier, and things with @alliecine are going great.  We had Thanksgiving at my house, with 10 friends and family, something I’ve never done.  We held another Tweetup here, too, Champagne and Cookies, and had a great turnout.  I even got a new gig scoring a webseries from someone I met at the Tweetup.

We spent the holidays in New Jersey with Allie’s family, and I survived.  I saw Manhattan for the first time in my life, and fell in love with it.  We both have so much going on the first quarter this year I might actually implode, but I’m loving every minute of it.

Allison is the love of my life, and she is the catalyst of the largest change that’s ever occurred in my existence.  She is my best friend, and she shows me every day, multiple times, how much she loves me back.  I don’t know what the future holds, I’ve learned not to try and predict it, but no matter what happens from this day forward, the events that occurred on 2008-09 on Twitter and in my life will always be integral to what happens in my future.

I’d like to thank all of you for reading this book.  My hope is that I’ve been able to teach you something about Twitter, and entertain you in the process.

The people that make up my Twitter stream are important to me, because I consider them friends. Not only as a business person, but on a personal level I care about what’s going on in their lives, and they care and take part in mine.  That’s the most important thing, and my favorite part about Twitter.

Listening to You.