I suppose, at some point in the writing process, it occurred to me that people would be reading my book.
I didn’t really think about it, I tried to write the book like a journal, it let me open up without worrying about judgment. But there was definitely a point when I realized that people would be reading this thing. I think it’s the day the proofs showed up at my door.
Staring back at me was a a print version of me without pants.
Really, the “Pantsless” thing is a metaphor. I’m very much naked in the book, I’ve opened myself up to people in a way I’ve only done to a few my entire life. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Suddenly, the book was out and people were starting to read it.
As a composer, the hardest part of my job is giving music to people to judge, but it’s also the most important part of my job. Without opinions other than my own, the music can’t become what it needs to be to fit the film. For the book it’s different. Once it’s done, it’s done. There’s no collaboration after the fact, it is what it is. And that’s even scarier, because it means it will forever be judged by it’s content.
Fortunately (so far), the people on Twitter that have commented about the book have either loved it or been great liars. I am lucky to follow amazing people on Twitter, they are friends in the truest sense of the word. And that makes me want to share things with them, things about myself that aren’t apparent on the surface.
So yes, I am naked in my book.
And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.