SOOOOOOO. You want an exerpt from the book? Really? Are you sure? Alright, fine.
Hello. Thanks for buying my book. Now that I have your money, the rest of this bloated monstrosity is going to be made up of volumes 1 -8 of the encyclopedia (Aardvark through The Plague) and a transcript from an episode of Who’s The Boss where there’s some sort of romantic misunderstanding between Tony and Angela. Enjoy.
You’re still here? Dammit, this is going to be harder than I thought. OK, fine. This is a book about me, which is kind of a self-centered topic, and slightly egotistical, but I’d read a book about YOU, so give me a little leeway. My name is Rob and I’m a composer for film & television. I joined Twitter a year ago in an attempt to expand my social network and meet new potential clients. A year later, I came away with far more than I ever thought possible, both personally and professionally. I went through a low I wasn’t expecting and a high I didn’t see coming, and I chronicled both on Twitter over the course of the year.
How, you ask? Why, you question? What, you say impatiently? Oh. NOW you’re interested in reading the book, huh? (Note to self: change the title of the book to “Crack” and sell it for twice as much). When I decided to write this book, I had three reasons for doing so. One, I wanted to share my story with others so that people might take some tidbit of information about the way I marketed myself on Twitter apply to their own lives. Two, I wanted a place to talk about the myriad of things I’ve gone through and done over the last 12 months (tweeting from the set of a feature film for 11 days, for instance), and maybe make one or two of you laugh. And Three, I wanted to educate people who aren’t familiar with Twitter on how the site works, what the community is like, and how to make the site and it’s people work for you, no matter what your business is. Even if you collect roadkill off the side of the road, you might be able to use Twitter to have your “peeps” inform you when there’s something dead in your vicinity. Just don’t ask me over for dinner. Unless it’s a cow.
One of the first things you’ll notice about this book is the frequent use of the “@” symbol, particularly with someone’s name following it. If you’re not familiar with Twitter, this is a person’s username. Mine is@RobGokeeMusic. If you purchased this book in eFormat, which I encourage you to do, you’ll see that every one of those @ names is clickable. I will be calling out individuals by Twitter name throughout the book. If you click on their username, you’ll get taken to their Twitter page. My hope is that, after you’ve read this book, you’ll join the site if you’re not already there and follow the people I talk about. If I mention them, it’s because I talk to them, read their words, and find them interesting in some way. Or, in the case of @aaronkaiser, I find their lack of pants in public interesting. (Just kidding, @aaronkaiseractually dresses better than I do when I daydream about dressing well for some event I wasn’t invited to but decided to crash for the free alcohol. I’m actually the one with the “pants” issue.)
Also, in the spirit of calling out my Twitter brothers and sisters (I say that because I’m going to pick on them mercilessly in this book, at least the ones dumb enough to sign a waiver), I will be including, within this book, a story of epic proportions with a cast of at least 1,775, the majority of them called out by name. When I’m done, you’ll have your own “search engine” of followers, and you’ll already know things about them that are most likely false, but funny. I kid them because I love them all, and they love me back. Some of them love me back in a way I’m not comfortable with, like @axisofphilippe, who has “boundary” issues. But I digress.
The end. That’s all you get. For now.